2-Buck-Chuck (3-Buck-Chuck outside of California) tastes ok going down, but will give a pretty nasty hangover. Rumor has it that they use the trash grapes and stems to make the fermented "beverage" and then add chemicals and flavorings to make sure it tastes like the purported varietal. But hey, can't beat the price.

Ransom Old Tom Gin. Rickey time, motherfucker!

$8 to rent a table and an army of people's time and effort to serve you a meal whilst you sit on your ass is not exorbitant.

My name is BOLO SAN-TOH-ZEE

Of the many ways that Saints Row IV improved on the GTA model, the best and most subtle was the ability to "listen to the radio" while not in a vehicle. Soundtracking your mayhem is just tits.

Typically, strip clubs don't allow miners. [rimshot]

CAW CAW … FUCK! I'M DEAD!

Leaving Las Vegas is a great movie for drinking, so long as you turn it off after the "I'm a prickly pear!" scene.

That short guy whose voice sounds like he is trying to suppress a warm Sprite burp. Good actor, though.

Beers, boats, and bros or GTFO

Make me one with everything.

Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavarate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as "The Meadows."

It was a very weird scenario. The guy interviewing me had his belly hanging out from under his Hawaiian shirt and didn't take his eyes off his computer the entire time he was speaking with me.

I once interviewed for a job at an eCommerce agency whose biggest client was Walmart. The interview started with "We do a lot of work for Walmart. Everything you've heard about them is true. Shall we continue?"

I told my wife it was Nick Offerman and she was skeptical at first but then rewound the DVR and conceded I was correct. Scenes from a marriage.

"Matt Damon" is a simple anagram of "Management."

Obviously a cookbook from a MasterChef winner would come with more pre-baked interest than one from Jane Schmoe. I just think it's silly that her dream was to have a cookbook and speaking like this was her one shot to achieve it.

Apparently, Courtney is in a group of "performers" that play the Spice Girls in their "aerial shows." She plays Posh, natch.

My wife made the same point when Courtney mentioned that it was her dream to publish a cookbook. You don't need to win a reality show to publish a cookbook. Also, have better dreams.

Call me when I can play Smashing Pumpkins into Small Piles of Putrid Debris on a graphing calculator.