Remember that late-90s lesbian indie film High Art? That was fun!

I can't believe I've been compelled to defend Nick Cannon, but he does a great job on America's Got Talent, he has a great rapport with the judges and contestants, is quick with a joke, and fulfills his (admittedly small) duties of being enthusiastic and handsome. He has done nothing hateworthy.

The most unrealistic thing is how slovenly Jim looks in his stand-ups. Sure, he's the dreamy intellectual so he can't be Don Draper out there but for God's sake: YOU'RE ON TV. Comb your fucking hair and straighten your tie.

They are filming this near my apartment in downtown Tampa. Saw Mr. Osment outside of our local dive bar, which had been commandeered as a filming location. Haven't spied any of the above-mentioned folks, but stay tuned!

It's FUCKING DISTRACTING!

I believe he's Welsh.

They and Mark Wahlberg should take a nice, long sabbatical.

I have a weird thing for Anne Burrell (43). The crazy blonde spikes are a little affected but she seems really kind and has great big cans.

Plus, the idea of younger man/older woman is about as controversial as vajazzling. Have we forgotten the Great Cougar Trend of 2005?

I was of course referring to the SEGA Genesis.

It's wild to think that basically every SEGA game produced can fit on one XBox 360 disc. And that you can buy that disc for like $15.

Agreed, it's all foreplay, no sex; all seasoning, no meat.

30 years and no promotion? Time to take that pension and get paid under the table to bartend.

Precisely. For me, it comes down to two suspects based on tried-and-true cliches:

Pruitt Taylor Vince is a fine actor, but his constantly-shifting eyes creep me out.

Maybe they can pull a Dave and have Arliss Howard play his own lookalike. I'm thinking some kinda drunk deadbeat with a thick Boston accent that he tries to hide with a terrible southern drawl.

Praise Lillith, Nora is gone! What a boring, useless character.

Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real dirty windshield; so I wrote THIS CAR LOOKS LIKE A FART in the dirt. Later I asked Marta if she thought it was a childish thing to do. She said, "Well, maybe," Man, whose side is she on, anyway?

That was the ending I saw on the DVD, must have been the "director's cut." What was the theatrical ending?

And maybe keep a proper chef knife strapped to your thigh, in case you're dropped in the wilderness or Krissi gets spooked and starts rampaging.