I hope this one takes us to the Ugnaut planet.

Beee-eer?

So does linoleum.

Do ye think yer son can thwart our plot in 24 hou-ARRRRRRs?

Gotta start doing sit-ups again.

Too much LDS.

Things that make you go "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh."

The heart wants what it wants. But I think you're projecting. Tina is all woman all the time.

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*waits patiently by the mail slot for this "email" to arrive*

Yeah, and the other one has artfully arranged mounds of wasabi distributed around her body. As a bonus they both look and sound just like Tina from Bob's Burgers.

How does one get this Google you speak of?

I like my women like I like my sushi: served up raw on top of a naked woman.

The concept that makes no sense is you thinking you're justified in writing sentence fragments just because you're make-believe friends with Tina Fey.

Oh, God, no!

That turnpike really tied the state together, did it not?

Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!

If you can't stand Wolf Blitzer then stop watching him. It works for me.

That song is the reason I melted my ears off with a soldering iron. And then I wished I'd done something less drastic, like change the radio station.

I don't know. Apparently Steely Dan is made up of musical geniuses, so if you like Steely Dan then you get some kind of transitive musical genius effect. So basically it's for suckers.

Yes, kind of like so many people who profess to love Steely Dan and yet never listen to Steely Dan.