It's also beautifully insane. To sum up how awesome that movie is, LL Cool J is Michael Gambon's son. He also pretends to be a couch.

I want to draft your sister.
I want to climb your sister.
I want to sell your sister.
I want to vacuum your sister.
I want to judge your sister.
I want to divorce your sister.

That idea's just retar—- misguided.

I'm pretty sure it's already a movie. It's called "Toys," it stars Robin Williams and it is tragically underrated.

I hate her so much and find her just awful. Like stunningly awful. Like I have a list dedicated to things that are awful and it is named after her.

I did that with Melissa Joan Hart, who looks like she's enrolled in the Amanda Bynes School for Crazy Housewife Hair.

Clarissa was They Might Be Giants humor for the younger siblings of TMBG fans. I'm talking 1991 TMBG, that is.

Yes. It's how Guillermo got arrested, Celia got addicted to coke, and Nancy met her new husband/father of her third son/mayor of Tijuana, Esteban.

I may have enjoyed the premiere
Only because of how low my expectations were. But when I think back on it, all I remember are bad literary devices, characters summing up the show in dialogue, and a mysterious joke about a dick ring. Not to mention the same old same old "conservative Christians are wrong about…

Oh, good. You're here.
Either I'm going to be dead any instant now, or I've been dead for a while.

Nothing More Glamorous
than spending several hours on a working television set, being "that auction winner" who needs to be measured and draped and coached, but just can't help always being in the way.

Her?

C-plus! Hahaha! C-plus!

"…a Rodney Dangerfield character come to life,
Ryan is a slovenly butterball with no filter between brain and mouth."

Based on those commercials, the iPhone video chat is good for one of two things:

I misread that
As "a preposterous and modern state." Which is a film I would watch.

He is a king
Among douchebags. If there were a contest, he would not only win, he would have the award named after him.

Someone was asking me why everyone's so mean here in DC, and I tried to explain it like this:

A.B.I.
A., "Always," B., "Be," I., "Instigating."

I'm pretty sure Maladroit started the Iraq War. Also, the Red Album resulted in the passage of Prop 8.