I can't tell if that eye-searing glare is the return of Allah or your untanned white devil flesh.

I believe that it occupies the rarefied air of "fucking awesome".

We may keep hostages for 444 days, stone folks, bomb other folks and generally just terorize places but we aren't bad people, Ben Affleck.

*Limp Bizkit cover of Behind Blue Eyes starts playing*
Bacon killed what her face in 2003. 
Joe is a manifestation of his guilt. 
Bacon is currently in a mental institution and the show is a figment of his imagination.

The lady vampires, on the other hand, tend to not dress for the weather and cause people to think Underworld is "awesome" and "good" and "totally deserving of sequels" and must be eradicated under Republican Law.  Mostly because they are women but the vampire parts don't help.

Shit.  It probably was.  I get those Zappas mixed up.

He does that guitar wanking shit really well.  So there's that.

Winston Cigarettes presents The Tarbabies Negro Spiritual Sing-A-Long Hour was gone before it's time.

He's a cool boss letting her run to film porn on the weekends and all. 

The first one took the concept seriously and featured the least Bruce Campbell-y performance ever.

I watch it in vague hopes that it will someday either A.  Explain how he got all these followers using chat rooms and shit or B.  Get interesting enough where I no longer care how he did it. 
I don't really see either happening.

Jesus may be coming back any minute now and that Bible ain't gonna read itself.

It's also goat that fookin cunt Rumpelstiltskin.

Blade wouldn't be nearly at successful at Stephen Dorff killing without him.

Getcha Courage.  Getcha liquid courage.

Double-uuuuuuuu-Nnnnnnnnnnnbc.
-Don Imus, radio god.

Is it this one or the Kids' Choice Awards where you can tell the winners based on who actually shows up?

After reading the first 4 Hyperion books give Simmons' mind vampires book Carrion Comfort a go.  It's really good stuff.

They may as well be called Waffle chips.  I couldn't taste the chicken.

Judd Apatow's Spy Kids.  Bond and Leslie Mann crack wise as the kids give unconvincing performances.