Water finally has its revenge.

*Chris Lemmon bursts through door* where do I sign

NO MAKE A "NEW ADVENTURES OF BEANS BAXTER" MOVIE WHILE KURTWOOD SMITH IS STILL ALIVE YOU IDIOT

*Kanye West angrily tweets link to Zevon's "Excitable Boy"*

His Joan of Arc duology is fantastic. Grounded, gritty, masterful.

Why, was there a flightless bird attack I missed?

Jared listens intently as Kirk reads the Bible passage "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me".

It's ADAM and EVE, not UNLIMITED BREAD STICKS and DIARRHEA!

One Million Moms I'd Like To Fuck Off

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

Hell yeah sedentary lifestyle! There's a song about it: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

NO HE'S TOO WEIRD

Is that what happened to the other two members of the Juliana Hatfield 3?

What, with these Johnny Bench hands?

Finally, the first step towards the Eagles reunion I actually want to see.

And the Wars of the Roses were also chronicled by a sea captain in suspenders.

It was even worse when Jesus' dad did the same thing.

How do you confuse him with Andrew Jackson? For one thing, Jackson actually won his duels.

I saw the crowd at her last comedy club show and it was 1) packed to capacity 2) on a TUESDAY with 3) teenage girls and their parents and they 4) bought a shitton of march. So you know what? This show will murder on Netflix despite me never watching it in a million years.

*pours out a forty for Henchman 24*
*slips on puddle of malt liquor*
*wakes up in barrio missing kidneys*