The world has become a truly despairing hellscape if "Homicide: Life on the Streets" is now considered famously optimistic.

Licensing to Kill

MascMask.

Bad Boys
Bad Girls
Bad Grandpa
Bad Santa
Bad Teacher
Bad Lieutenant
Bad Newsbears
Bad Boys II

Right? Like, when whiteness was expanded to include the beastly Irish and dastardly Italian just to convince them to keep working the garbage jobs.

A negative Yelp review

The shittyness of white people is the narrative arc of the last 600 years. I'm fine talking about that, because we have to own up for some serious shit. But if the words 'pride' or 'heritage' creep in there, run for the fucking hills.

Be fair. Coal and Oil are just trying to make themselves more renewable by exponentially increasing the amount of dead organic matter on the planet. It's called playing the long game.

Pitch: Hot twenty-something amateur detectives Nancy Drew, Encyclopedia Brown, Sally Kimball & the Hardy Boys are recruited to solve murders by a shadowy figure known only as J.B.

I hope Remini's going undercover to expose the inexplicable success of the cult of Kevin James.

On the season finale, Leah Remini will unmask herself to reveal she's been Erinn Hayes the whole time. Would you expect any less from the world's greatest impersonator?

It'd be interesting to see what Texan and New Colonian immigration policy looks like.

MEGACANADA

MOPES.

But they have such gigantic heads!

That would be more of a 88 than a 69, right?

The entire administration is shockingly incompetent if you agree with the premise that it's actually trying to govern. However, if you believe the ultimate goal is to undermine faith in democracy then everyone's a goddamned savant.

In all fairness, putting your head up your ass can easily be mistaken for trying to suck your own dick if you enter in media res.

Someone on Twitter made the point that if he didn't think he was on the record, then he himself was leaking. So either way, the Mooch pooched this one.

Saint Vincent's "Oh" right after that joke is the perfect response.