I had some of Sean O'Neal's Culture Jam on toast for breakfast today. It tasted like Brett Ratner looking at a book full of pictures of Justin Beiber's butt.

Zip Gun Boogie?

The Jacksonville Jaguars need to stop bringing in Canadian quarterbacks.

Of course it's popular. It has James Spader. And the number of viewers for the trailer of a James Spader movie will always be Less Than Zero.

Just watch her on that awful werewolf show on Syfy. Bitten, I think it's called. Tons of butts on that show. Tons. I'm pretty sure the pitch meeting was a fourteen year old boy talking to a studio exec and saying, "I have an idea for this show about werewolves. They're all hot and there's tons of butts."

Taking the fireman's pole to the Batcave?

Blüdhaven Meridian or an Evening With Red Hood and Wally West.

I want the third one to have, in lieu of a sharknado, a dust storm filled with the doo wop singing 50's style greaser sharks, clones of Michael McDonald and the whole Mystery, Inc. gange. It can be called Shabooby Doobie Shascooby Doo Wop De Bop.

You don't want to make a decision you'll egret later on.

Well, to be fair those 16 year old pelicans look like 30 year old arctic terns. How's a guy to know?

What I want to know about Jesse L. Martin is, him saying "I'll Cover You!" during the warehouse fight was totally a Rent shoutout, right? I mean, it's not just me imagining that my love of both comics and Broadway musicals has magically intersected on this show I'm really liking based on my my favorite superhero of…

"Barry, Ollie…threesome?"

Were those gorillas SUPERintelligent gorillas or above average intelligence gorillas? It really does make all the difference.

I'm going to watch Constantine specifically to see if Detective Chimp shows up because I love that irascible bastard. I mean, is there a better cigarette smoking, deerstalker and ironic t-shirt wearing, talking chimpanzee detective in fiction?

In my mind, three of these coins became the Coins of Zakynthos that Grimm's werewolf/blutbad Adolf Hitler wore as lapel pins.

"In what world would anyone trust two of the most inexperienced people (in regards to teaching) on the planet with their kids all day?"

I know, I know. Everyone gets up in arms when I say I would cast a non-Grenwich-Village-based-Master-of-All-Earthly-Magic to play a Grenwich-Village-based-Master-of-All-Earthly-Magic. I guess that's why they're called actors.

So, my theory that Chiwetel Ejiofor would be perfect for this part is still in play? Nice.

Otto the Fae? What's an Otto the Fae?

This season's central mystery: What is Jabberwocky?