Trick question, whiskey already tastes like Billy Bob Thornton. Whiskey and despair.

I'm also just having one tonight [indicates gallon milk jug filled with moonshine].

It's at a Goodwill in Modesto County, priced at 45¢

And Swordfish. Really, it's a miracle that she's not always chugging from a pint glass full of grain alcohol.

Hey, she was in Gothika, too! She has plenty of reasons to drink.

According to wikipedia, "binge drinking" for women consists of having four or more drinks within a 2-hour period- since this is just one drink over the course of a few minutes, everything's fine! Everything's juuuuuuust fine.

That's why I recognized her! I never even connected that she was in that Stand miniseries!

The best part of the first one is that there's one guy named "Zepp" and another guy named "Tapp" and the movie acts like that's not completely insane.

I mean, maybe we shouldn't take the torture puppet's self-justifications entirely seriously. It's almost like he might be a delusional maniac!

Ok, here-

One thing I always thought was kind of odd was how Hank Pym (rightfully) carried a reputation as a wife-beater for years after an intentionally-dark story where he hit Janet as part of a villainous breakdown, but Reed Richards used to hit Sue Storm simply as a matter of course and nobody ever gave a shit.

Eh, it's ok. It's worth it if you're a big Deadpool and/or X-Men fan, but taken on its own merits it's just an ok brawler. It's worth $20.

For all that he claims he's not an actor, I vastly prefer him acting in things to doing his own stuff. I like his delivery and his presence, but his actual sense of humor tends to fall really flat for me.

The Deadpool video game from a few years back had a theme song for the first time Cable showed up that basically consisted of people screaming "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? IT'S FUCKIN' CABLE!" for 30 seconds.

Haha I mean, it's not great and I often think he's kind of grating, but it didn't incense me.

I just read it based on your anger here and it mostly seems fine to me. I do like how much time he takes to shit on Alec Berg, that sort of amuses me.

I like the part where they dam up the little river and are having a great time until the cop wanders along and tells them they're playing in shit-filled sewer water.

Like haha I guess but that wild swing with the machete is fucking terrifying. Everyone involved is lucky that didn't connect.

I want to upvote this 100 times.

What, are a bunch of dorks from the AV Club going to ruin my credit score or something?