Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop.

Aw, dammit!

Spinach and fish probably wouldn't taste as good in a unicorn frappuccino, though.

Also, I just remembered that id had two guys with the first name John, and two guys with the last name Carmack and none of them were related to each other! The '90s were a wild time, man.

I knew Garfield had a lot of merchandise, but this is ridiculous!

This is like playing poker with no money, or huffing unleaded gasoline. Without the danger, what's the goddamn point?

Oh, ok.

The last gasp was, what, Peter Molyneux? And he was a joke for a decade before his studio finally went under.

I remember playing Daikatana and my review was basically "Oh nooooo, it turns out John Romero wasn't the talented one at all, oh nooooo!"

Until Dawn was another recent example of the "interactive movie" (though not FMV, technically), and it was actually pretty fun.

Mostly you wander through an empty house and sort soup cans, slice cakes, and look through telescopes. When you do those things successfully, ghoOooOOooOssts appear.

I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO TINY HOUSE MOVEMENT

Oh man, the 7th Guest is really an odd-man-out, there. Phantasmagoria and Harvester were legitimately gory, but 7th Guest was just kinda goofy (brutal hammer murder from the first 5 minutes excepted).

If you're really that curious, there's a playthrough of it on the Let's Play archives. It's worth a read.

This is the game where everyone got mad because they thought you might see a boob, but you never actually see a boob.

BE SURE TO BRING ME SOME MEAT, STEVE

I didn't know gardening paid that well.

Just this morning I watched a bunch of unemployed hippies line up a terrified group of construction workers and machine-gun them into a ditch. It's getting bad out there.

Mike Rowe recently came out in favor of Delta Airlines beating the shit out of that passenger, so you know he's on the side of the little guy!

A side benefit is that it will also hide you from the Predator.