They were called "Baze" and "Chirrut", which I only remember because they're super-goofy names even by Star Wars standards.

Wh…what? Well, ok.

Hey, didn't Mason Verger wind up cutting off his own face and getting fed to a bunch of pigs? Hm.

SSTICK TO SPROTS, MORANS

They take wooden eggs and, like, push 'em around with spoons or some dumb WASP shit.

Oh shit, I had no idea they were making a Scalped series!

It just sounds good, man. Sounds real good.

Hey, remember when Geraldo Rivera was humiliated live on national television due to his own hubris and eagerness to rush into a situation without fully preparing himself for all the possible consequences? Seems like there might have been a lesson hidden somewhere there in Capone's vault, but I guess nobody bothered to…

Jesus fucking Christ what a bunch of goddamn psychopaths.

When I was a kid, we let a car sit in the driveway for a few weeks during the summer and when we next tried to use it, it turned out to be full of bees. They'd built a nest in the space between one of the back doors and the frame of the car, and they came pouring out when we discovered it. Anyway, have a good day!

Ok, using "I Will Always Love You" as the trailer music is actually pretty funny.

No…no, it's the children who were wrong.

I'd just like to take this space to express my opinion that The Last Jedi is a really great name for a Star War and I like it a lot more than "The Force Awakens".

No, I don't think so. The history of science is filled with very smart people being very wrong about lots of things, based on their feelings and irrational conclusions. That doesn't mean they weren't smart, it just means they were wrong. Intelligence doesn't make you perfect- in fact, in my experience, it tends to…

That Death Race remake had a character they called Frankenstein, and it also had Tony-award-winning actress Joan Allen saying the words "Okay, cocksucker, fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk", so I'd call that pretty justified.

I think that's kind of a dangerous idea. It's absolutely possible to be intelligent and also a bigot, because bigotry isn't based on rational conclusions.

But from my point of view, it's you that are evil!

It really seems you can't convince me, because I don't buy any of that.

To be fair, the franchise does have the word "war" right there in the title.

I absolutely don't understand the idea that Luke blowing up the Death Star with one shot with all of no training is somehow less impressive than Rey surviving a fight with a heavily-injured guy who was trying to not kill her.