Because they have no sense of foresight or context.

They can tell how impressed she is when they fuck a block of Velveeta cheese they warmed up in the microwave.

I've really become a big fan of "cuck madness" ever since I saw someone use it here. HE'S GOT THE CUCK MADNESS!

It's pronounced Bigboo-tay.

And lawyers! Mustn't forget the lawyers.

If it doesn't come Kentucky Fried, Trump doesn't think it's lovely.

Darth Vader is a cuck who let the Death Star explode because he didn't have the stones to use it!

But it really gets under his skin when people imply otherwise, so let's keep doing it.

The family name was Evilyanovych before my grandparents went through Ellis Island.

I love that he's just, like, half-leaning into the room. It's like his dad nearly walked in on him jerking off and he's desperately trying to play it cool. Such dignity.

Dowd is very into old children's PBS programming.

Alright, I re-ran some numbers here, and it looks like it would actually be more effective to spend that $850 on the $5/20pc. chicken nuggets, which would wind up giving you 3400 nuggets.

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't see how anyone could pass up the opportunity to use $850 to purchase and consume 1700 McDonald's chicken nuggets alone in a darkened apartment.

And his whistle wet!

This article feels like Sean has really been poring over those A.A. pamphlets.

No, I need them to fight off predators. And Predators.

Also fun to do when you're initially alone in an elevator.

At the very least, he can take solace in the fact that he's by far the most beloved Baldwin brother.

I wouldn't say he was the "villain" really either, but he was definitely intended to be comically amoral.

Huh, before I read the whole thing, I assumed that "against the law" comment was some kind of metaphor, but in context it sounds entirely literal. That can't be true, and it really does sound like, even in his own account, he chose to walk away rather than fight for it.