Based on his portrayal of almost every woman he's ever written, I expect Batgirl to be a 96 pound hand-to-hand combat master who just can't even with the two faces and gets romantically entangled with a "charming" guy who is objectively a real piece of shit.

There is absolutely no irony in my statement. Donnie Darko is plodding, dull nonsense, but Southland Tales is fucking amazing. You're welcome to not like it, but don't tell me my enthusiasm for it is ironic- it is not.

I mean, I think part of the issue with chain restaurants is that the product has to be exactly the same from location to location. Hand-making tortillas involves measuring ingredients to a more intense degree than is really worth it for the back-of-house at most fast food places.

It's true! It's true! We're so lame!

YO MY NAME'S TONY TORTILLA AND I'M HERE TO SAY

I actually have kind of a hard time looking at him now ever since the How Did This Get Made where they did the new xXx movie and played a clip of Vin absolutely losing his mind over how beautiful some Brazilian lady was during an interview. It was the most intensely I've been embarrassed on someone else's behalf in a…

This is the correct opinion. Donnie Darko is for college freshmen, but Southland Tales is for the true aesthetes.

Vin Diesel loves Street Shark action figures and introducing old ladies to Dungeons and Dragons, so obviously he's an ice-cold baller with an ass made of pure grade-A hunk steak.

I've stalled out on my playthrough of this a bit, just at the beginning of the Maw section. My thoughts on the overall product are still pretty scattered, though I'm glad I'm playing it. The centerpiece so far, for me, has been the escape from Meil Avest, which is the first time the "Crisis" system actually felt like…

Not without a little more effort than that.

Give me a musical about the feud between Elizabeth Hurley and Zelda Rubinstein!

“Someone—he never found out who—for years left him little presents, balloons or candy or a toy groundhog, on his porch in Santa Fe. ‘It’s like my birthday,’ [Rubin] says.”

I'm holding out for a Dark Claw movie starring an unholy abomination built from the combined DNA of Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman.

"lax bros"

I enjoyed Song of the Sea but found myself with some very unanswered about the nature of the mom and dad's relationship. Did he know she was actually a seal when they got married?

Mnuchin was actually on quite a roll today…offering up the assessment that President Donald Trump has “perfect genes”…

"We're sorry, but that was actually a Beatles song."

I just like how the judge sounds like he's delivering the sentence in a Johnny Cash song. Ten years in the federal pen, I'll be out by I don't know when!

I can assure you that it is not.

Netflix has indeed made Adam Sandler feel like family in that, before he's allowed to produce these four new movies, he'll be required to successfully complete Kindergarten through twelfth grade in just one year in order to prove himself.