I feel like I'll buy Andromeda for $20 two years from now and probably enjoy it a lot at that point.

The most interesting thing about Staples is that he has his own name tattooed on his shoulder. This is a hurdle for the viewers’ suspension of disbelief, but very helpful should they find themselves trying to remember the name of the actor playing Michael Diggs. It says it right there on his arm, in big letters:…

"The little boy's wee-wee room" is maybe the most insane bit of dialogue ever spoken by a grown man in a major Hollywood film.

I fucking love that scene, where he's just like "ugh, this is really awkward but I guess I can't say anything about it."

"I helped myself to some of your…groovy painkillers."

It was the biblical apocalypse that Hell-A deserved!

I dunno man, I was tired.

The film was set to star Schumer as an unconventional Barbie who gets booted out of her plastic kingdom and into the real world for the crime of not fitting in.

They're visible in one scene, actually (I think it's the very first time you see the cockpit interior).

Do you get unexplained headaches and nosebleeds and eventually enter a cannibalistic fugue state whenever you see a picture of famous Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds? If not, then congratulations citizen! You have not seen Green Lantern.

I was interviewed by the New York Times not too long ago (only because I knew some of the people who were actually being written about- nothing about me or what I said actually made it into the final article) and I found it remarkably stressful and was very conscious of everything I was saying and how I was phrasing…

Just relax about your dead son, ok? You're really bummin' me out over here, mister dead-son-guy!

He had a really great street team that would just plaster them all over town a week before the game.

I honestly do not even understand how to use Instagram to communicate with other people, much less hook up with other people, which is actually one of the reasons I prefer it to Facebook. I post a picture of a neat book I found, or my dog eating a neat book I found, and I wait for the little hearts to roll in.

Jesus fucking Christ with this "I [heart] Trucks!" pin. Does the crew of Air Force One give this fucking ding-dong a little set of plastic pilot wings every time he flies, too?

What a coincidence, Instagram is also the preferred app for seeing pictures of my dog.

If people were excited for Rogue One due to the involvement of Phil Lord and Chris Miller, then those people were severely misguided.

The only thing that makes me think it'll be ok is Phil Lord and Chris Miller. If it was anyone but those two guys, I'd assume it was going to be a shitshow.

I mean, I assumed his name had the same origin story most people's do- his parents Gene and Edna Solo gave it to him.

The vehicle in question is actually going to be Ford's '55 Chevy from American Graffiti, and the Wookie is just hairy, '70s-era George Lucas.