Maria, my mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee.

"Hey, I'm trying to eat lunch here!" is the Simpsons quote I have most often used in my life. You'd be surprised how many times someone within earshot of me has started talking about vomit-inducing things while I'm eating my lunch.

Hutz was unusually professional in this episode.

Ohh, I don't like this new director's cut.

Now tell them what you saw Billy.

I'm a Harold Perrineau completist and lesser-Baldwins aficionado so I'm gonna catch this.

Today's kids don't know their Roman numerals, so it'll bode better for the box office if they call it Scary Movie 6: Adrian's Revenge.

Potatoes are neat. The coming together of chocolate and peanut butter is genius.

From now on the baby sleeps in the crib.

Rabin never responds to us peons.

Just came here to proclaim my undying love for peanut butter cups. Carry on.

Doctor, you've got to help us. We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas.

Well, let me just say I want to put the "stew" back in "students".

Oh, man!  Ned spelled ink all over my poems.  He's a flat tire, I mean a cube, man.  He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona!

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion.

Obama is a thousand times worse than your human Hitlerpede monster. Remember Benghazi!

Like the media saying it's sinkholes opening up in Florida. Lies! Lies! That's Dark Lord Obama opening up the gates of Hell.

"The chief constable gets one pig every month and two comely lasses of virtue true."
"Keep the pig. How many broads do I get?"

"Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history."
"Woo-hoo."

I liked the parts where these old Yehudis tolchok each other and drink their Hebrew vino and get into bed with their wives' handmaidens. That kept me going.