Let me guess, when they discovered him dead in his office, liver busted out his ribcage like Mister Creosote,
what was the bottle they found in his desk drawer?

"One Night at Alghieri's," (A Play in One Paragraph)

*Regis Philbin walks off set FOR REAL, like a boss*

His luggage is from the Graham Chapman '74 collection.

The Brooklyn Dodgers!

Then the Spanish brought them back to Europe and everyone asked, "So what does this thing advocate anyway?"

I don't understand who would want to spend all that time scrubbing pounded avocado mash out of those ridiculously porous, grainy stone mortars anyway.

Aficianardo?

Answer this CAPTCHA: "Is a wrap a sandwich, or something different?"

You know, AVClub message boards turned into #WeirdTwitter so gradually I didn't even notice. Yeesh.

You called it. As would have to be the case with someone like him, there's a New Orleans connection. Someone who associated in his circle when he was in the area once informed me, it was family inheritance money, and he's every bit as icky-creepy as you see on the surface.

You bring in Russian mobsters to set up money-laundering through the house earnings and figure out ways to declare losses on the books while billions wind up in the vaults of Putin's oligarch buddies.

Sativa or indica?

All youse guyses needs to reads the lyrics…ses.

Down in the New Orleans region, you can get it here no problem. It's just called "olive salad" and it's of course a necessary ingredient on a muffuletta sandwich.

Just like the real Ivanka, who used to go slumming in the Bowery for rough trade at clubs, going by the name "Tiffany," because that's like such a totally different name from hers!

Everyone needs their one someone else's thing.

Is it *actual* designer of everything Ivanka plagiarizes?

So you haven't strolled the boardwalk to see all the airbrushed Daddy's Girl tanktops on every bony pair of shoulders from ages 11 to 36?
The 36-yos accompany the pink popsicle oral fixation with cornrow braids, noserings, trampstamps…all the classy but more assy.

I'm going to have to relabel that joke when I skulk back over to downmarket Twitter.