I thought John was driving down to Texas with John Wayne, Denis Leary and a case of whiskey?

But…but who among them will play the Irishman? I'm not smelling a whole lotta Eire coming offa any of these fellahs.

It's a blatant grab at Red State viewers whom these gall durn Hollywood types can't appeal to in any other way!

I thought the exact opposite when I heard about this — it sounds like it's built to save as much money as possible. Doesn't 'late-1860s railway camps' sound like there'll be a lot of canvas tents and landscape shots of Wyoming? And maybe a 'town' made exclusively out of false-front shops?

Yeah, sure, Mr. Borgnine…HE was the drunk one…

I like how he calls the aerial battle 'the largest in the history of mankind'.

He only wants to play a pedophile so he can claim his internet cache is full of 'research'.

It's GEORGE Plimpton…'s corpse.

Both of those things are also true of YOUR MOTHER.

This movie will stink worse than your creepy one bedroom apartment, Yid.

Well, he seems to be metaphorically ejaculating in that photo…

The Lacey Chabert suicide-watch just raised the black flag — the "it should have been me" levels are spiking sky high.

As a venerable poster before me said, I'm lighting fireworks off at my desk IRL.

Will Ebert just sit there and look at the camera while his voice plays? Because I'll have to close my eyes, it'd be that awkward.

Something about that kid bothers me…

Jimmy the Putz sells Newark Tar out back of Doop Headquarters in Weehawken.

Cary Grantacid is great for stomach aches, fellah.

You know, I'd prefer it if he'd chosen one of the times that Carson interviewed Dick Cavett, if only so that I could read an article answering the question why the two best, smartest TV hosts in history were both former magicians from Kansas.

I second the nomination for "Kenny Dies".

It will be hilarious when Bieber actually comes outof the closet in five years, because there'll be some guys who'll say, "What a waste, all those girls were trying to bang you and you weren't even interested."