Philip Rivers was so bummed out he had another kid.

Poland is just glad people are talking about it again.

You said tsar twice.

King: It's either hump or death…You have ten seconds to decide. hump-death, hump-death, hump-death, your time is running out!!! Girl: allright, alright, hump! oh! (walk away in shame)

His poor mother…

No matter, all beer ends up in the Coors anyway.

But the cups come branded with my favorite sports team on them!

After I got that one, I switched hands…and the cookie was right!

Nice underwear though…

"Oh, I never miss the AVN Awards. The Golden Penis is the biggest honor in the business."

Just got back from my bank. I listed my comment history as collateral, and they turned me down.
Can you believe it. As they dragged me out, I was yelling, look at the upvotes, look at the upvotes…

Probably. You should take a break for the next couple of years.

How do you feel about tooth life retention?

or at least pray for death.

I'm still stuck with all my GoldieHawnBucks from the eighties.

I feel like I'm in nazi Germany.

"…and that's when the whore's move in."

I just started this show last week, and somehow mistakenly watched the second season first. I have started in on the first to fill in some holes.
So many mopey characters, it really makes some of the episodes a slog to watch. Thankfully Frank died so I don't have to watch him mope around anymore.
Ed really makes me…

Nobody Knows Exactly What’s Going On’ Because of ‘Computers’

Definitely the number one story right now.