Spy used him like that.

Normally films with pets in them only kill them once. What this film presupposes, is killing the same dog over and over again.

Too soon for me, I have a colonoscopy in the next few weeks. Just another reminder to all you kids, don't get old.

New note to self: Lawn Dart Gun.

Note to self: Yard Jart Gun.

You went back to the carpet store?

It sounds like someone needs to learn a new chord.

and she had just got her shit together…

Hey, remember a couple Summer's back when all those stages were collapsing?

I didn't watch my family die face down in the muck for nothing.

And at such high prices!

Nobody fucks with the Kanye.

Sorry about slicing you little child's carotid artery, I was kite fighting.

Last week I think, I read on The BBC about three deaths caused by kite string in India. I guess 'people' use line that has metal filaments and or glass particles in it that make the line super sharp, and then try to decapitate others with it. I thought the acid in the face thing was fucked up…you know, it's the only…

Think about it, commenter…ess.

Stinky Cheese Man
Make me a brie,
Make it so smelly
That others will flee…

"Giant peach… shit; I'm still only in a giant peach… Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle."

When I killed my first one it was a very good year

Hmm.. Colon Blow. Sounds delicious. But is it really higher in fiber than Google Fiber?

Take a guess: How many bowls of Google Fiber would it take to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Colon Blow?