Ugh, whatever. This was the most derivative, unoriginal music video ever. I'm so bored of seeing Ray Wise as a fake sports coach/ Satin Jesus.

I'm loving Ben's wig.

No, they can still save the show! I know because my dad was a farmer and when the plowhorse came up lame, instead of shooting it, he just cut the broken leg off and grafted a turkey leg in its place. Well, then the horse was standing lopsided, so he had to cut down the other legs, too, but we eventually got the height…

I don't know, I'm really starting to enjoy how insane this retooling process has gotten. I'm hoping they'll next announce that Maya Rudolph has left the show, but her unborn fetus is slated to play the straight-laced one in a zany police procedural with Luka Jones. Who wouldn't watch that show?

I knew Dan Stevens was leaving the show, so the whole episode I kept waiting for him to be offed. It was like Final Destination: DA. Was he going to startle when Molesley rode up calling his name, rifle backfiring spectacularly in his face? Was he going to get tangled up in his reel and drown in a foot of water? Was…

I knew Dan Stevens was leaving the show, so the whole episode I kept waiting for him to be offed. It was like Final Destination: DA. Was he going to startle when Molesley rode up calling his name, rifle backfiring spectacularly in his face? Was he going to get tangled up in his reel and drown in a foot of water? Was…

I remember reading that Bradlee and Quinn said that, even with an extensive renovation, the house still smells like cat pee whenever it rains.

I can only hope James Cameron will swoop in and motion-capture this film to perfection.

I can only hope James Cameron will swoop in and motion-capture this film to perfection.

My boyfriend would be overjoyed if Magnitude bit it. Man, he hates that guy.

Uh, black water? I can tell you where that won't be a hit: wastewater treatment facilities.

I would absolutely watch a movie based upon this article.

And when he's caught he's so flustered, he falls down the stairs! Oh, Louie!

Oh. Man. Does anyone remember the Evil Elizabeth Super Thriller where she finds an ancient mask that possesses her and turns the full moon red?  Or the one where Jessica starts corresponding through an old diary with a ghost that helps her solve a murder? Or when Elizabeth gets kidnapped by an orderly at the hospital…

Raw Hot Dogs
Foreshadowing.

Schadenfreude
This fills me with the joy I thought died with my childhood.

Sounds like it would require a complex system of pulleys and levers. Ramps, too. A complex system of simple machines.

I appreciate your attention to detail, sir. While the urge to get up on it would be great, wrapping it would indeed be a high priority. We don't want any Kabies crawling around just yet.

That faux-bearskin rug does sound good… But if we're going to the Melting Pot, I'm going to have to find a new dress at Marshall's first.

Oh, Kabes. If only… if only.