I want to see the flying pig from Lisa the Vegetarian.

That makes sense. The ring's call didn't really reawaken until Sauron did, yes?

What I'm asking (seriously - I've seen the movies and that's it.) is why Gollum/Smeagol seems to have only the desire to keep the ring, but not put it on, whereas Frodo can't stop thinking about putting it on. If the whole point of the ring is for it to be worn and therefore find its way back to Sauron, why doesn't…

Wait, so Sauron (or whoever is in charge of this) is able to retroactively alter the magical characteristics of the ring without having the object present to make the bearer want to be the… wearer? Why wouldn't he just give it a homing beacon or wings or tiny feet as long as he's remote-magicking it?

Why isn't Smeagol compelled to put the ring on like Frodo? Isn't the point of the ring that the carrier becomes obsessed with it and feels the pull to put it on which alerts the Nazgul to its location?

I didn't! How dare Mr. McShane lend that gravel-suspended-in-liquid-gold voice of his to such a stupid film. This would clearly have been a better artistic endeavor.

My dream casting for Captain Hook is Ian McShane. Though, in fairness, he's my dream actor for just about every role. The man knows how to chew just enough scenery and still carry menace.

I loved the subtle emphasis on just how subjective these tales are told through clothing. They're both wearing different clothes than the other remembers (her memory of his green button up shirt is, in his version, a green tee under a white button up.)

You are always effing up synergies.

Hugh Munro! We got to meet Hugh! I liked that they kept the made-up sign language non-cartoonish. The actor who portrayed him did a great job with the small bits he had.

Was the weapon Frank pulled out a black jack? Because that would have been brilliant.

It is a refreshing change to see sex portrayed slightly more realistically. Weird sounds, stops and starts, "you're crushing me!"

I was just pitying the prop stylist who had to deal with that shoot.

I HATE THE "HELLO" SONG.  Our ice cream truck plays that and Jingle Bells on repeat. The guy driving that thing must be completely insane by now.

What?

Yeah, we all know how well working with women worked out for him last time. Good luck, buddy.

That has to be Zach Galafinakis next to him. 

Don't forget Wilko Johnson of Dr. Feelgood, aka Illyn Payne aka Illin' Pain (his hip-hop alias)

BRASTS

My fiance has gained a new lease on life singing the "woo"s in the shower. Don't you take his joy.