It's not about the monetary worth. The endless amount of speculating one could do about what he did to earn that certificate, who else has received one, what the criteria to earn one are, and what that means for the GOP of past and present is too rich an intellectual mine to let go to waste. I bet Mr. Rabin scores…

I know the cat snuggie doesn't already exist because I and everyone I know are still alive, and not clawed to death.

Yeah, that dog's got murder in his eyes.

Man's Ingenuity
If only nature had thought to provide dogs with some sort of 'natural Snuggie' that covered their whole bodies to protect them from the elements.

For shame, Mr. Rabin. For shame. As a junior-level government contractor who has never made a single typo in her career, I feel comfortable passing swift, harsh judgment on your pitiable writing skills.

Hair is a dangerous enemy to the environmental movement. These damn hippies are killing the planet.

Gourmet Magazine has chef-offs on their website, and somebody made an avocado marshmallow once for the dessert challenge.

No need for a stripper name
When your parents named you Eden Alexxa. And you've already got stage presence!

Yes, Silly Buns, all that would be needed for the above to be a true and sincere statement is for "the incident" to happen in February. Otherwise, he might not really mean what he's saying!

And he publicly apologized for those things in the video above! That's the beauty of never actually apologizing for something specific. You can just apply said apology to all the horrific things you've done and collectively label them "the incident."

But he apologized about the incident! To the people! On film so you can watch it over and over! He's also a noted puppy holder:

Ugh
It just hurts that we won't get a second season. And when I implore people to watch it while they can, they get hung up on the words "allegory" "Biblical" "drama" and "Shakespearean/modern English mix". Perhaps I'm just like David in exile: friends with a bunch of Philistines.

Malvin is a dude. He really only looks slightly different than he did in sixth grade. More hair, more attitude.

FAMOUS NOW
Holy shit, I went to middle school with Malvin. Finally, someone might remember Littleton, Colorado for something other than… oh, wait no. That will never happen.

@Arsenio, I didn't mean to compare their talent, more the machine that manages their every move.

Totally agree with you, Doc. We see the same kind of thing happening with Britney Spears in terms of the way every detail of her life is managed. What that kind of pressure from a young age must do to someone, we can only guess, but it's external effects appear to make a person just batshit crazy.

One of the dumbest things I've ever heard…
…came from the mouth of Mariah Carey. She said her favorite color is, "pink, yet lavender."

I believe the procedure is called an adadictomy.

No one's made this joke yet?
Hopper's role in this film, as pointed out by Mr. Rabin: Dennis the Menace.

HelLO Brett
AV Club needs to take a field trip out to DC.