Because only racist old people vote in the midterms. Also, gerrymandering.

I have a feeling he's about to cut off his nipple.

REPEAT: REPORT TO TECH LAB FOR WORK DETAIL.

There was that song that played over the menus of Star Fox 64 that IMHO was especially gorgeous (https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Oh, what, like we don't have enough crying humans to make movies out of?

It sounds like you were playing this game way, way too sober.

Oh man I have such fond memories of this game. There was an old Apple computer in the library of my elementary school, and this game, stored on those giant black floppy disks. I was only like in first or second grade and the time travel stuff completely blew my mind (I was also terrible at the game, but did not…

Yeah, and I got stung by a jellyfish once, so if they're suffering in captivity, fuck 'em.

By beer snob, do you mean people who refuse to drink Coors and Bud Light and the like? Because nobody should drink that shit.

At which point we become gonads.

And this just doesn't pass the test of plagiarism. If you read through the examples cited, there are definitely similarities, but nothing is directly lifted. Making a character say things that are thematically similar to something another character said is not plagiarism, it's an influence.

Um… have you ever actually MET a Juggalo before? Compared to them, metalheads are like astrophysics professors.

So in this analogy, true rape claims are chocolate chips?

I have strongly and proudly stood up against discrimination of all forms for my entire adult life, and I have to say I agree with Patton on this issue. These self-righteous social media, um, "warriors" (I guess posting on a blog makes you a "warrior" now) can find offense everywhere, even among allies, which has the…

I don't know which part of this is dumber— the idea that somebody would/could conduct a hoax of this nature, or the idea that a mass shooting will somehow lead to gun control laws getting passed.

*head bursts into flames, melts*

Get it? Because ghosts? Oh just forget it. Sheesh.

Boooooooo…..

In the book, Crichton makes a point of mentioning that the velociraptors are actually eating him while he's still alive. That's right before a drunken Muldoon starts blowing raptors apart with a rocket launcher.

Wouldn't Jack Black's nephew's uncle be… Jack Black?