This is the 10 'classic' records 18-year-old-punk-older-brother-me would tell 13-year-old you to buy (before punching you in the stomach), colored entirely by my personal rules (e.g. the Ramones are for pussies, and Black Flag sucks):

I heard she didn't even like Gladiator.

I've recently decided that Electra Glide in Blue wears the crown in that particular genre.

That synchronized swimming sketch was seminal roots humor for 12 year old me (a nickle's worth of research reveals that sketch aired the day before my 13th birthday). I can vividly remember my (almost) teenage mind devouring that sketch as an example of the kind of weird wonders that were available along the edges of…

I don't swim.

I don't waste my time with it. When it comes, I won't even notice.

Coincidentally, I become Wolverine when someone gives your dog bologna.

it's your mama, it's your daddy, Ryan Seacrest in the alley.

Was Ghoulies a Critters rip-off, or was it the other way around?

I have this memory seared into my memory of browsing through a local Blockbuster around '93, when a dude walks in, and he's so excited he has to announce to the whole store at full volume "YO! THIS MOVIE IS A MOTHERFUCKER!" before slamming the tape down on the counter. I was so intrigued I had to go wander up to the…

Birds eat rocks to grind up their food inside their gizzard, so I guess there's almost a natural precedent….but birds don't do it for the mineral content so much as birds ain't got no teef, and I'm not sure where my gizzard is.

Outlander kinda bothers me…I enjoy it, but I also feel like I was sold a bit of a bill of goods, at least through the first season, which presented itself as a bit of historical drama, even with a pinch of sci-fi around the edges, when in reality it was like 95% bodice-ripper. Admittedly I never read the books, or…

I was ALWAYS looking for the large animal sculptures. "I'll take the porcelain Dalmation for $750"

Wuz just gonna post something about Fishbone.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

It sounds like a company that sells premium electronic dog shiners out of Skymall.

This is Tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I.

No sir, I don't like it.

It's some sort of commentary when Hulk Hogan in horrible disguise, exclaiming "I'm not Hulk Hogan, brother!" is one of the better wrestling characters of the last 20 years.

Oh! It's so painful! It made me snort and sigh just to read it.