Ever seen Black Samurai? Kelly flies around in a jet pack, fights a midget who swings through trees on a whip, fights a warlock, fights some snakes, fights a fucking vulture. Tantalizing, yes? Good lord is it terrible.

HEY HEY, LET'S GO TO MCDONALD'S!

When it comes, I won't even notice….I'll be too busy looking good.

I have a friend who is the exact opposite of this article….he has a distaste for magic that makes him almost uncomfortable. It's great entertainment to force him to watch magic tricks. He huffily dismisses each trick with a way-too-simple analysis which explains nothing, like "He's got something in his pants!!", …

Have you seen 'still images narrated by computer voice'? It's pretty much the same thing, but with creepy, stilted narration from your computer instead of the text.

I like to believe I'm equally judgmental toward the sexes regarding the looks of celebrities in promotional photos on pop culture websites, but on occasion the individual in these photos that I wish to express my particular judgment about in the comments is female. How should one properly address judgmental comments…

I feel like a killjoy, but I think it's kind of weird that this article's tone & quotes appear chosen particularly to promote the parts about his drinking and drug use as much, and as positively as possible.

I don't disagree with anything you say, other than to add that the age of consent is 16 in Atlanta, for better or worse.

I can't even remember if I watched last season of this stupid show.

Your mileage may certainly vary, but I don't think of "A Republican would've done the same in his place", or future hedge-bets against a possibly Republican Congress as any kind of valid excuse for throwing your entire platform and your constituents under the bus.

Honest question: How do you rationalize/separate Bill Clinton's entirely voluntary gutting of welfare, de-regulation of corporate industry, and massive scale prison & law enforcement expansion?

…and let's not forget who DID gut social benefits far more effectively than any conservative could've ever dreamed, and de-regulated the shit out of corporate industry. He's the "impish as fuck" asshole in the picture up top. Those crucial failings don't seem to be mentioned anywhere in the article above, as per…

For better or worse, 'politician' has become a pretty worthless word in any context, just because it can be measured pretty much any way. Some people will tell you being a career politician is akin to being a tool of the Devil for one particular example, and then point to it as absolute proof of competence for someone…

A bee attack rarely comes with a free side of drugs, but smoking enough meth is practically a guarantee of some sort of insect attack, invisible or otherwise.

This holds true for modern weed, but not much else. Lennon's legend includes a mortar and pestle that he used to mix up his daily random combination of LSD, cocaine, amphetamine, and barbituates.

Which is exactly why I went out of my way to avoid putting the word 'music' in between the words 'professional' and 'critics'. They may not have professional music critics, but they do have professional critics writing about music. YOU SHALL HAVE NO INTERNET PEDANTRY POINTS TODAY AT MY EXPENSE, FRIEND.

Admittedly, it took me half-a-dozen times to figure out there was never going to be an encore, but it's great for getting-the-fuck-out-of-the-show. An immediate burst to the exit while everybody else is hollering for the encore can avoid the sweaty end-of-show bottleneck entirely.

I think my multiples list includes some of those sited above, Firehose, Sugar, and Fugazi….and I gotta dig deep in the recesses of my shattered memory for some of the others…Nirvana, Sonic Youth, Melvins, Archers of Loaf, RHCP, Fishbone, Beastie Boys, Ghost, Hold Steady, Pavement, Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Van…

That is a worthwhile achievement, for sure.

Even though I love the particular bands named I have a mistrust of folks (especially professional critics) whose "musical act you've seen live more than any other" is a band who broke up over 20 years ago.