Before the house begins to burn
There's a lesson you must learn
Something something, you will see
You'll avoid catastrophe

Grade school?!? I was doing that as a senior in college.

If you didn't like ONN or Portlandia…
…here's a cure: 3 parts Jack, 1 part Coke. Repeat as necessary

Having lived in the Portland area for decades, it always had its share of hipsters. Back in the 80s they had the good sense to keep them in NW so they could be avoided.

According to many of Haldeman's books heterosexuality will be cured in the future.

I wish I was dead. Ohhh

Back in my day "ownage" started with a p. Kids these days.

I thought the OP meant "Marklar"…

Late to the fray, but I enjoyed ST:V more than ST:IV. I enjoyed the way it played up the relationships of Kirk, Spock and McCoy. I'm not saying it was a good movie…

When are the pancakes coming in the mail?

I always assumed the reason the character's name is Charlie, is so the Sheen would respond regardless of his "state".

What aboth the mystery of who ordered the Springfield Philharmonic? Possibly while high?

What about second breakfast? And elevensies?

"if Picard was a little less scrupulous"
I believe you mean "if Picard *were* a little less scrupulous".

I was in the orchestra pit in high school when one of the sandbags came loose and, well WHAM.

Failure-Man, Failure-Man
Does whatever a failure can!

Here's a witty rejoinder!

I was on the PT 109 when we learned Kennedy's evil secret…

That's a good price for 12 pounds of nutmeg.

Uh oh, we've drawn judge Snyder. He's had it in for me ever since I accidently ran over his dog. Only replace "accidently" with "repeatedly" and "dog" with "son".