@avclub-e9a31138d9c1040eb526f6ca6761e58b:disqus you forgot to add the all-important "I'm asking for a friend".

Invite him to go grocery shopping!!

Given the input from others here, I'm gonna retract my "YOU'RE SO HOT = FLOPSWEAT LOSERDOM" stance.

I think I love you, @Gorfious:disqus .

Wow, that Tumblr, I just……I don't even……wow.

"goes off on how they're evil seducers who were just toying with them all along? You know, the sort of thing that makes them sound like potential rapists."

Don't add, "You're incredibly hot", that just reeks of flopsweat. Just say, "Do you think you might like to have coffee with me sometime?" and if his face brightens up and he gives a reasonably enthusiastic "Yeah, sure!" follow up with a time/place.

How old is he? If wine won't work for you, maybe juice boxes…….don't skimp, either, get the GOOD stuff.

*stops for a moment in silent reverie to relive every interaction she ever had with that sexy, hot, sexy, hot, (very, very married) sculpture prof back in 1991…….

"being sexy means you have to be careful of who you entice, even if you're doing it unintentionally" @avclub-c1a181c99ac4568d774b6585bc0a2153:disqus

@avclub-d58892501363fc735d3c12592162e3c2:disqus , this new information makes you sound CONSIDERABLY less shallow/douchey.

I thought that one went back to at least the Edo period.

Aaahhhh, bonobos, those scamps! If I had a nickel for every time I tried to solve a conflict with a bj……

I am so with you @avclub-011d0b4fe6835bb3d37ef4e0ea713de6:disqus , some of these things that come up just make me go, "What? That's still a thing? Who even cares about that anymore?"

@avclub-c701a997d9bef627835b036efb4eca63:disqus please, go on…….

*Creakily internet-hugs @avclub-e9a31138d9c1040eb526f6ca6761e58b:disqus back*

This is why I always have porn on "mute", that kind of thing is so grating and off-putting.

This thought flitted through my mind as well, for no discernible reason other than I found it both plausible and hilarious.

@avclub-e9a31138d9c1040eb526f6ca6761e58b:disqus , darling, "female vocalization" doesn't just mean talking (yeah yeah, I know, you know this but I'm sayin' it anyway).  Personally, unless it's super-raunchy, a la "Did your mother lay out those panties for you?" (with waggling eyebrows), I don't want to say/hear much…

@persia2:disqus Amen, sister. This letter is NOT that complicated.