I don't know if I have ever had a crush so strong that it could force me to ask my parents to buy me a soft-soft-core porn mag (for the article dad!). It's never come to that, thank goodness.

Ha, I'm more worried that I'm going to start thinking you're me. Wait, ARE you me?

I think you mean your four biggest ones.

Go back and read the re-print from biastioc. Sure, it's from 2009, but you can get your freak jones satisfied.

Whenever I try to explain it, the closest thing is that it is like looking at a landscape. When they're up on the screen - well, it's big, and there really is just so much to look at. I dunno, it's probably weird. But those two faces, I could look at all day.

Sadly, I did not die tragically and heroically, which is odd because themes of self-immolation and sacrifice are pretty strongly appealing to me. My overriding fantasy stops short of death, however (because then I wouldn't get to hang out with my crush object to bask in his/her gratitude and be adored by him/her). It…

@avclub-7b66e8931c93da8c88a0a8b6dec62f9e:disqus that could all be so. For me Jedi & Empire don't really exist in the same kind of world because by the time they came out I was older and making out with boys in cars. So I didn't really follow Solo's arc, for me he exists solely in the movie Star Wars during the summer…

Oh lord, @avclub-d019eb089e65903455cc52308f00b997:disqus , I believe I did the illustrations for that fanfic, darlin', right down to it being his sister because, well, I guess I mostly thought you would just kind of hang out and be cool with him. Yes, I actually drew that. Her outfit matched his. That she looked like…

"Dan" from Little Men by Louisa May Alcott. Bad boys.

Movie-Eowyn just sucks. Book-Eowyn is awesome.

It's depressing reading these, because I am realizing that I have had a LOT of fictional crushes. We can add Chief Brody too, although I'd have taken Matt Hooper as well. Hell, toss in Captain Quint for that matter.

I am flat-out AMAZED that no one (at least, no female here) has mentioned my own favorite fictional crush, HAN SOLO. Really? Nobody? Just me?

I'm going to second Rachel Weisz as a woman I simply cannot get enough of looking at on-screen. I feel the same way about Milla Jovovich, honestly. I wouldn't say it's a sexual attraction so much, just that I really love looking at their faces for some reason.

Abraham Delacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley - my boss' wife and I once both discussed how that cartoon character was our first kind of "awakening" to the fact that there just might be more to gross boys than we had suspected.

Jesus, I think I have that beat. Captain Haddock of the Tintin series. Like, from age 12 through 35. Gahd. Alcoholic comic character, c'mon.

Should we say 9:00?

As an excuse to talk about myself, I was once the manager of a group of artists in a corporate environment. When I left that job, they did the "O Captain, My Captain" thing at our goodbye party. I hadn't seen the movie in over 10 years so I assumed they were making fun of me somehow.

One thing of which I WAS aware was her unsettlingly masculine speaking voice.

Oy, you aren't kidding. I never saw the show but I didn't know it was THAT bad. Yikes.

Can you go invisible? Because I'd totally go invisible.