Thank you all for the kind words! My life was rich and full, and I leave you with only one regret: that you will never get to see Arbor Day, which was supposed to start shooting in October! Hector Elizondo thought it was going to be my masterpiece! Ah, well…The Other Sister it is! Everybody be nice to each other!

Sure, go ahead and have fun! Guess where you're gonna be taking your Mom on Sunday? Thanks for the new vacation house!

Ask Dan Ackroyd! He's the holdout! Can't make it without Ackroyd!

Oh, I owe her?! Sure, I guess you're right! After all, what'd I ever do for her, besides make her a star?! But sure, Julie made the picture! Where in all of Hollywood could I have found another woman who could play a whore?!

Where's your proof? I suggest you quit throwing around allegations willy-nilly! I've been looking for a project for my lawyers for some time!

How wrong you are! There's a million of these things! I got a book! For instance, today is National Pistachio Day! You think I won't make Hector Elizondo the foreman of a pistachio farm? Just watch me!

Hey, look who we get here! Is that you, Peter Bogdanovich? While you're polishing your Oscars, why don't you tell me with a straight face that you could get through The Other Sister without crying yourself stupid? That's RIGHT you couldn't!

That's what your wife said, only with me instead of you!

I don't do radio! Mother's Day 2016!

Same to you!

That's right, fellas! I'm back! And here's another movie that you're going to see whether you like it or not! You may want to go see the Fantastics or the Tom Cruise picture or what have you, but sooner or later, your little lady is gonna want something with some goddamn warmth! And you'll take her to my picture,…

You're very kind! And may I say, I've enjoyed all of your cinematic work as well! I always say, when the director is neonjudasnoir, you know you've got yourself a picture!

Same to you!

Me pissing on your Mom's face after I drilled her was good for a few laughs!

You really wanna do this, AV Club? You wanna take me on? Why don't you ask Richie what happened to his brother Chuck? You keep your nose out of my gold business, and you can keep on writing all your funny little bits about Superman and Ultraman and like that!

Then look at this!

For which we're all very grateful!

Hey! I'm not dead, you know!

First rule of show business: you give the people what they want! People didn't like the older brother, so we sent him upstairs one day and he never came down! People went nuts for the ginny on the scooter, so we shoved him down their throats! We even had him jump the scooter over a shark one time! Would I have liked…

Don't think you won't get yours, Jason Reitman!