Even from the freeway, that there is some fucked-up soul-killing shit. All these houses that look like they … melted …

And that's why you don't clean the cat box when you're pregnant!

I would like to personally thank the AV Club staff for their restraint in not calling this the Rufio origin story "we didn't know we needed".

*wakes up from coma*

*checks dates*
Okay, this one I was probably ten years too old for.

This is one of those movies like Goonies that I think I was maybe about five years too old for.

Rufio-mania shall be running wild any day now, I expect.

It doesn't help when they include timestamps.

He already has, son. He already has.

Something something nachos "Flanders"-style …

They still make me nervous, mostly because I'm afraid of getting creamed by someone who doesn't know what they're doing. I was in one a few years back, trying to make a left turn and a truck was approaching. Since I was already in the circle I had the right-of-way, but a voice in my head said "I don't think that truck…

I love that clip they show of him yelling at an audience "If you're sitting in this room tonight and you believe that whether Donald or Hillary wins impacts you, YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKING LOSER!" in what he assumes is going to be a big applause line … and then just dead silence. Like an entire room filled with people all…

Dammit, I was gonna use 1 (but with a nickel)! See? Still even got the quote copied!

I'm not boring! I'm quirky and fun! Look, I'm wearing a "Bat Child Found in Cave" t-shirt! And I'm a grown man!

Nah, those guys have been slacking. Why, I was out walking the dog earlier and saw a thing … that was not on top of another thing in any way!

And ten minutes ago, I had no idea what a Gary Vaynerchuk was, but now I want to see him getting his legs broken.

I got as far as Will.i.am dropping this bit of historical scholarship: “We went from selling gramo-phones … and music being played on gramo-phones … to music being played on i-Phones … and now we have i-Tunes. “ and all of a sudden I just started to feel very, very tired.

Yeah, took me a second to parse "Twinkoid".

It was amazing how quickly they swarmed him. He didn't even get a distant early warning.

I think that might be it.