Then the solution is simple:
Nuclear tipped arrows from Green Arrow's private stash.

Hey, I liked DEAD AT 21 because, at the end, Jack Noseworthy turns 21 AND FUCKING DIES!
Liquid Television was THE shit. And I have to give it MTV from waaaayyyyy back for introducing us to THE YOUNG ONES. Yeah, I'm old. I'm so goddam old I remember the VJs telling us that we could get MTV in stereo if we had a…

Ronald Reagan vs. the Smog Monster

I remember watching the Palance "Dracula" and I think it was originally a BBC production that ran on PBS in the States (but I could be confusing that with a Frankenstein thing that I seem to remember from around the same time). I remember it scaring the shit out of me at the time. I think that was around the same…

Okay, before we decide that Singer is just THE shit for comic book movies, I'd like everyone to remember "Superman Returns".

Judd Winnick = single handed destroyer of decent characters in comics. Green Lantern? Let's add a gay kid we can kick the shit out of! Green Arrow? Let's make the reformed teenage hooker have AIDS!

@ Deus - I think J. Michael Straczynski read that piece of bullshit right before he plotted his dismal run writing "Amazing Spider-Man" for Marvel. Not the most fucked up that book has ever been but it has to rank in the top five, somewhere between the original clone saga and the even-worse second clone saga (Ben…

I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me
I remember going to the press screening for Iron Giant. The PR people at Warners thought it would be a good idea to cram every little kid they could round up into the theater to show us hardened, cynical critics that we were heartless mooks if we didn't like the film because…

@Delmar
Search around the internet for the pilot script to FOX's unproduced Banzai series. The episode is titled "Supersize Those Fries!". It took so long between the film and the series, they killed off Penny (again) and managed to bring in Rawhide's evil twin brother, who wound up being a good guy. All this before…

But wouldn't be cool if they WERE real and helped the poor by blowing them up?

If you just can't wait to see it, may I recommend the following site:
www.uknova.tv

Okay, time for a reality check (as real as a series about a cop who gets hit by a car and wakes up in 1973 can get) - the BBC version of "Life in Mars" was a great series but could be wildly uneven. I was initially annoyed at John Simm for deciding to bail on the series until they got into series 2 and I realized…

The only way you could AFFORD comics is to bittorrent them. Definitely pay for the good stuff but the rest of them, just download the damn things. Giving them money will just encourage them to keep producing some of this shit.

The Food, The Blart & the Segway
Mall Cop 2: The Blartening

As douchy as a Segway is, if the things really worked as advertised and they could get the price down below a fucking grand, they would really make as much sense as all the people buying scooters. I'd still rather drive, especially since I can buy another vehicle like mine for $200.

If you look close, you'll see a small "NO RIDERS" sticker.
Right next to the "NO FAT CHICKS" & "NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE" stickers on the fenders.

Ford: But they backed a truckload of money up to my house! I'M ONLY HUMAN!!!!
(says the Replicant)

Being stoned would explain his career choices for the past 20 years or so. Just suck it up, march into George's office with Mark & Carrie and agree to do the third fucking trilogy already before you suddenly find yourself signing autographs for $20 a shot at a VFW hall to make the payment on your chopper.

…and hilarity ensues. Soon to be a series on Bravo.

John Edwards died playing Balderdash and was then contacted on the 'other side' by the greatest douchebag in the galaxy (until Criss Angel came along), John Edwards.