Goddammit, I am a Broncos fan, and a Nuggets fan, and I can't understand why such barbs are always directed at MY teams.

I'm kind of surprised that I didn't get dogged for "I don't where I am going with this" (omission of "know"), given the recent "when you someone eat it" fiasco.

What if the machine was sophisticated enough to read different layers of the vibration, or there was some kind of software to extrapolate and interpret the data?

@All, regarding NMCB

What about:

If you want to kill someone on the way out it would help me a lot.

Top notch graphing pun. Top notch.

Why don't you put her in charge!?!

McConaughy was a god-boy in "Contact", where Jodie Foster went on a mind-bending trip to another world to meet . . . the Ghost of her Father, and then returned in less than a second.

Second to what? The Simpsons re-run or the American Dad re-run?

Family Guy
Was it just me, or did Family Guy feel really haphazard and stilted tonight, what with the live-action cut-away gags and meandering storyline?

there once was a vampire named mable
whose periods were heavy and stable
so at every full moon,
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.

"P is for Psycho" if my favorite Troy McClure flick - barely edging out films like "The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed" and "They came to Burgle Carnegie Hall".

As did I.

All these memes* are FUCKING DISTRACTING!!!.

Eight Minute Abs?

This one was okay, but I am far more excited for next week.
Noel pretty much hit the nail on the head. It was okay, a little bland, had some cool lines, but the most interesting things were undeveloped.

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you take off your clothes and dance around a little?

What?

Red Vines > Twizzlers