How am I supposed to suspend my disbelif in an invisible bearded super-being's subtle machinations of us mortals if the producers can't even get the fucking hair and make-up right?

My mother just got another dog, and I swear if it had one of those puppy tweets it would go something like this:

I loved Kirstie Alley in The Thing.

Crowd: "HOW SORE IS IT?"

Jim Rockford, you know you never go Cloaca to mouth.

No, no, no, see…
Don't you get it? This is their "Thriller." This is the apogee. After this it's all downhill.

Stop.

Mrs. Cameron?

Each "novel" comes with a hit of LSD.

Avatar the Quickening: based on the novel the Blind Side by Sapphire.

I'm pretty certain J.D. Salinger was writing the prequel when he died. Cameron's just finishing things up.

Nice piece. Should have been handled by the Haiti-er.

Yes, it's good. If you have any interest in the man himself, you ought to read it.

Goddamnit, now I'm racist and ignorant. Don't expect me to change my ID though, the one should be expected with the other.

"…lost his lower jaw…"
As opposed to his upper one, which apparently he was born without.

They put creaturs…in our asses!

"if there were a gold metal…"
Oh, only if.

My penis is more of a Tom Waits for the Apocalypse, it's everywhere spewing nothing substantial and generally pissing everyone off.

Kielbasa, pornos do not count as fact.

John Mayer's dick shames me for being what I am.