She got smart and got into this producin' directin' shit, because when women get old, they get ugly, and Hollywood don't cotton to ugly.

I don't care how many dudes have passed through there. I'd hit it.

Why don't we just do co-ed roommates and get it over with already?

At Racist U, the way we knew our roommates were jacking off is when they came on us.

I am a big fat racist and even I have to say I'd choose Rosario over the other two…

What if it's just a really deformed human baby. Wouldn't you all feel horrible?

No.

I'm not your Buddy Guy.

Give those kids back, Diabeetus!

OH SNAP!
TLC told him.

sbian-tastic.

He was walking through the park and just came across one.

Dallas?

I move my hips like Dooge! Dooge!

A once-relevant father with cocaine and gambling habits can make all that money :: snap! :: vanish in the blink of an eye.

MISTER WONG!

That's not a sit-com, that's an 43-year-long tragedy.

"Featuring Richard Belzer in a very special rape episode of The Jim Bruer Show, brought to you by Pizza Hut."

Just like Oldboy. Like remember when John Phillips disappeared for like 15 years? And then was tossed onto the roof of a building in a suitcase? And then he fought a bunch of record executives with a hammer?

****Spews Racist Tirade****