That radio segment was good. The book, however, blew rat balls.

Haiku, the first form of poetry?

Yeah, him too, whatever, I don't read these fucking Internets, I just shit on them.

But a liquid brat chasing Martin Lawrence as a cop in a fat suit, comedy gold.

Or hang out with Jesus' son, Mark Ruffalo.

Jesus, Frito, that's like a 17-, 18-year-old reference you dropped there.

Kraven, bitches, from the Last Hunt storyline. He fights, beats, then buries Spider-Man, then takes on the costume himself and scares the fuck out of MJ.

ZMF vs. KFC

An entire oven-roasted chicken, deboned and filled with a hot, gooey cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese mixture and 10 strips of bacon, sewn shut and slathered in the Colonel's special blend of 7 herbs and spices and deep fried to golden perfection, the new KFC HeartMurder is what's for dinner!

Did you mean "the beak goes down a little easier"?

Tom, I read that as "hot grease tits" and thought, now we're getting somewhere.

Where I live I got a Popeye's on one corner of my block and a Popeye's on the other corner of my block.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: The Voyage to Homoeroticsm

I am a high-priced stupid and I will not accept this studio.

Dumbledore, don't forget Rod Stewart's "Rasping the Classics" and Il Divo's "No, We're Not Those Guys Who Wear Thoe Funny Hats"

Nipples is correct (how I loved writing that).

@ Angel2all. Seconding TomWaits, go fuck yourself.

And where is Susan Boyle? She's at home…washing her tights!

God damn you, Lincoln's Revenge. I hope you get shot in both heads this time.

Gimmie some sugar.