I have a friend who's a marine biologist, and the only interesting fact I've ever learned from him is that most male sharks have two penises, because they have sex by biting on the fin of the female shark and don't apparently have the time to choose the correct side. So they just have two penises so as to not have to…

So you're argument is that the underage girls who were raped were asking for it?

Except for how, by her telling of it, he carefully groomed her for months. As is the standard MO of people who fuck underage children.

Nah, can't you see them explaining that he will actually veto this bill, because instead of being the person he's repeatedly said and proved himself to be, he's actually super secretly an awesome libertarian who totally is going to do everything they hope he will. He just has to pretend to do all this other stuff…

I'm a fan of the guy in the screenshot who goes by "Pillar of Sanity."

He's not dead. I produced his last three albums!

Damn, I really thought this was going to be a confession of your turn to cannibalism and the effect it's had on your tight knit family. But instead it's just a pretty standard AV Club confession of barely-functional alcoholism.

Well, for one, I voted for Hilary, so I'm not sure I fall into the category of person you're ranting at. I would, however, point out that it's kinda odd for the guy going on a long, unhinged rant to claim other people lack the ability to think things through.

Wait, how can you both insult people for taking a principled stand against voting for Hilary, and then 4 posts later, insult the very same people for not taking a stand? Like, those are mutually-exclusive arguments.

So unless punks grow up to admire fascists they've failed at life?

All I hear in any of his songs is the version from Bojack
♫ I'm Drake
We Drakin
We be in that Drake
No Fakin' ♫

Sure, I'm upset about spiders eating all of us, but mostly this concept of wuv confuses and infuriates me!

Well, I don't read the articles, but that's never stopped me from commenting!

Well, it's a good thing they made sure Clinton got the nomination. Because that turned out super.

Came here to say the exact same thing. If only there was a way to distinguish between their significantly different political views. You know, like if they had different names or something.

They just need to re-run that controversial one in which she advises a friend to commit suicide

They wanted to put him away where he can't kill or maim us, this this is LA…

I think there's a typo there, as I believe the word you're looking for is fleshlight.

Phew! Thanks for explaining that for us.

"By the way, my significant other is going to be so amped by your answer"