Eh, it's not like they're making ridiculous demands of you to do so all night and ev-er-y day. They just want to salute your rocking in whatever form it takes.

You left out the best part! It would continue to go:

"I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows."

Whatever. Fallon could have totally done this, too. Except in his he would have been looking directly at the camera and giggling the whole time, and then at the end he would have lipsynced a duet with Channing Tatum in a dress. But really, same difference.

I don't quite understand when tickets go on sale. Could you please add a few more asterisks to the chart to clarify?

What?!? Next you're going to tell me Mel Brooks is Jewish!

This is really one of those good news/bad news situations: on the one hand, yay for these folks for raising funds to help the people of Flint. On the other hand, we live in a horrid dystopia in which the wealthy and famous raise funds to provide poison-free drinking water to a town.

Whoopie would've made it work

I got a "gay cumming" notification for this?!?

I mean…not that you'd want to

Moderately?

True story: when I left for college, my dad gave me his slide rule from his days in college, complete with a snap-loop that allowed you to hang it from your belt. He told me that's how you could find the cool kids on campus — they would have their slide rules clipped to their belts.

/record hits me in face
/annoyed grunt followed by interested "hmmmm"

What you just made me realize is how desperately I want to read a ZMF review of this movie…

Yeah, it's like, we all know the police suck, but when they throw a temper tantrum over someone asking them to stop murdering innocent people…well, it kind of defies satire at that point

Hmmm…better check Greektown.

Oh, and for the record? There was an episode of Happy Days where a guy *literally* jumped over a shark. And it was the *best* one.

What did you say?

Many years ago when I first lived in Minneapolis, one of the members of the Timberwolves crashed his SUV into a gas station while watching porn on the in-dash screen. If I remember correctly, the police report said he was "digitally manipulating himself."

Hearing Lizzo and Caroline Smith over that cold open was everything that is good and right about the world.