Hearing Lizzo and Caroline Smith over that cold open was everything that is good and right about the world.

…and that's when the doctor said I would have so much wrist strain if I'd just stop masturbating so furiously…

Eh, nuts to you.

Pertinent question: are there any stairs on the way to that corner?

Quit making movies for children! They have no money!

Please explain how "expressing considerable doubt that any claim based on alleged “actual innocence” is constitutionally cognizable" is significantly different in either content or scope from what I wrote.

Oh no. Shock and awe is a military tactic tracing its origins back to 1980s Britain. But here's a relevant piece on its use in Iraq (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/… with choice quote here:

Interesting. So who is this impostor that took over Scalia's pen and wrote:

Well, it depends on how you mean the term "connected," and I'm not saying that just to be a snarky asshole. How connected to the goals of war are the many wedding ceremonies we've bombed?

From another piece I read on this, it's pretty clear this was never really meant to be real. The organization supposedly behind it had no web presence until a day or two ago, and none of the supposed organizers would respond to media requests from any outlet.

Because laws don't work 100% and bad things will continue to happen no matter what we do. Literally no one is arguing we can come up with a magical law that will stop any and all violence from this day forward in perpetuity. What we are saying is that maybe some common sense would help. Like, you know, maybe the…

Yes, and Henry Kissinger won a Nobel Peace Prize.

Eh, you don't think there's any room for considering what leads someone to want to murder a bunch of random people at a concert? Like, say, multiple imperial wars that slaughtered a bunch of their kids for no reason?

Only about 2% of people administered CPR go on to live. So…not the best analogy you could've come up with there, my gun-loving friend.

Because gun control doesn't work on such a granular and insular level. Nevada has some of the least restrictive gun laws in the nation and is an unmonitored borderline away from CA. Now if all of the US had meaningful gun control and was still suffering mass shootings, then this would be a meaningful counterargument.

"Forget about the badge, when do we get the freakin' guns?!?"
"Hey, I've told you, you don't get a gun until you tell me your name!"
"I've had it up to here with your 'rules'!"

Dude, you can like Scalia all you want, but the man was neither brilliant nor logical. Unless you consider "When you think about it, fags are just like child molesters and murderers" or "Ain't nothing in the constitution that says we can't kill someone just because they're factually innocent" to be sage wisdom.

I think we'll all stick with "the one who didn't have a beer named after them." What a loser!

I was hoping they'd make a movie about Jazz so they could do their part to help increase diversity in major Hollywood films

"somewhat Cobain-esque take on the material, only with louder “oohs” and “ahhs” at the end"