Unless you travel with a laptop, iPad, or phone.

Due to a transcription error, his name is mis-recorded in the Bible. It should have read "Pontius the Pilot"

It seems like this story was made for me.

Unless it's sinking your teeth into some transubstantiated flesh of Christ.

Too busy oppressing the proles, or some such nonsense.

Breast Attack on Fuck Mountain can't be far behind.

Herzog's opening monologue from that film:

Generalissimo Francisco Franco was unavailable for comment.

Franco's gun gestures looked a little awkward, like he was unsure of how to hold his shoulders. He seemed self conscious, slightly uneasy at the prospect of spring's coming.

+1 for pedantic pluralizing

Is that a stripper's name?

King boy anuses still off the list.

Yeah, I recognize that venue name from the Animal Collective album, so I was surprised to see it listed as central Missouri.

Does he have Little Donny Disease?

Belgium! Kansas! Germany, then back to Missouri! … and if we have time, Paris, London and Boston.

Not only won, but pwned.

But you gotta admit, that pun was a stroke of genius.

At least!

'Fug' is also a word. I think we've hit all the vowels.

asshole.