We have the special on soulmate muffins. Two for the price of zero. Everything is free.

Type 3 and type 9, and 12 and 13. Those are all the diabetes I have.

YOU BASTARDS!!

-Do you get it? Donut holes, sinkhole. Funny, right?
-No, too soon. By exactly nine days.

That movie made a ton of money in China. I'm pretty sure they'll keep making more just for the gigantic amount of chinese WoW fans.

-How did you get there so fast?!
-Love finds a way.

-That is adorable. Where did you get that?
-Vending machine at a rest stop.

-Patricia, we can fit another chair, right?
-Change the floor plan?! An hour before opening?! Of course, THE MORE THE MERRIER!!

- Let me show you my bud hole.
- What?
- I should warn you. It's a little messy.

CJ stays! I love that guy.

See you never, drive-thru vape station!

Why does anyone look like anything? Look at dad, what's up with that?!

I know a toy guy. I mean, he's real, he's not a toy.

-Larry, who's the female lead on Failure to Lunch?
-Kate Hudson?
-Sarah Jessica Parker, man! God, It's like you wanna die!

-Pop quiz. Greg, where did you go to college?
-Ohio State, where I majored in ……………… Communications.

Oh, I believe season 3 was the eligible one this year.

It wasn't even good.

He said some wonderful things.

The Fairly OddParents might be the only show ever to jump the shark on multiple occasions.

This week, they notified me I have the record for most songs ever played on Zune. I only heard one.