This is a best Target memory. This is from 2002. I went up to the front to pick up returns (I think they were called abandons) and there was an irate guest demanding her money back plus a written apology from the guy who runs the store. Apparently she bought a diaper genie that had been previously returned and it was…

Adam, that's not funny.

I always loved the idea of a zombie breaking through the ground butt first. RIP Terrorist

My heart just sank when I read this headline. I am so sad and pissed like I lost a friend for a stupid reason. I thought he would make it last time he sobered up, but god damnit. This sucks.

Hmmm. You'll have to answer these two questions before I can answer yours.

I wouldn't mind a King of Tokyo movie. I wouldn't watch it, but it'd be something I would smile at if it were out there.

Pink Flamingos. I kinda loved it though.

It's legal to ride your bike on the sidewalk here for some reason. And I do admit to doing it because I am not a regular biker. I'm afraid of getting bashed by a car.

It's the beast palace in the world!!!

I got skulls and crossbones tattooed on each wrist 3 years before these movies started coming out. I can't count how many people I have told "No, I don't like pirates of the caribbean, I just like reading old pirate lore. Those movies are shit fests."

He's the cream of the Holt!
*creamer appears in hand*

This show wasn't on my radar, but now I'm seeing a picture of Gelman and thinking, I shall check this out.

You're right, but I just want to yell at the strangers!

The non-Samuels L Jacksons bit my crotch.

Get out of Austin and stop making our traffic so bad!

Plus they're making pussy a household word! Soon I can tell my grandma, "Lemme see that pussy!"

Nine inches.

It's Juan Hammon!

We should riot.

From the look of it, that cat has probably gotten more action this year than I have. He should be helping me!