Come crywalk with us, Azudarko. You need a MAN-hug! We have a MAN-date!

Easily one of the best scenes in TV history, no joke.

I found Michael Crichton's descent into writing "State of Fear" to be more chilling, though.

JACKIE!

I always had a soft spot for "Wings of the Luftwaffe" (though that was on Discovery), which struck the right balance between aircraft tech specs program and History Channel-esque WWII retrospective. Also for pushing away thoughts of the other "Wings" of its era.

They were really trying back then, huh? It showed in the little things like the bumpers, with a plant in the background eating a human hand or the bearded alien interstitials of SciFi Santathon 2K1 (on SciFi!). Even the "C-listers with something crazy" "I am SciFi" bumpers had their highlights (Busta Rhymes with…

IMDB and their incredibly stupid users gave us perhaps the greatest not-picked-up-to-series AV Club column, though: http://www.avclub.com/artic…

Very difficult to believe the claim that this song is based on actual events—who the hell is stealing a man away from circa-1973 Dolly?

Wait wait wait…you DIDN'T expect the dude who sang "Cemetary Polka" to turn up in some ass-tearingly awful vampire movie? I'm honestly surprised it's just the one.

When you wake up in the morning at the crack of dawn…
C-BEAR AND JAMAAL!
It's the funky cartoon—leave ya dancin' in the aisles
(deedle-dee-deet!)

The Ratatoing guys are way ahead of them:
http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Messy Paul Anka moons a dove.
Ted Kennedy along—me like to shove.

Er, not well. Even in the era of 30 minute toy commercials, that one is particularly egregious in hindsight. At least with, say, a Transformer, on the show it's a cool robot that you can conveniently buy a toy of. Watching Centurions now, it's hard to see anything other than someone wearing a plastic toy harness.…

That's a lie, Smurfing causes no negative side effects and no hangovers:
http://www.youtube.com/watc…
Except hallucinating a giant Mennonite head floating over your village.

The crazier thing is that they greenlit two "women in the army" cartoons at the same time (the other being the Popeye spinoff "Pvt. Olive Oyl") to capitalize on the success of "Private Benjamin." Because an R-rated dramedy about Goldie Hawn fending off sexual assault in the military is exactly what the kids are into…

Not quite solving mysteries, but "Seinfeld Babies" did exist as a sketch on Muppets Tonight!:
http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Play it for me Rolfgang Amadoggus!
Whoaaa, Amadoggus…AMA-DOG-DOG-DOG-DOG-DOGGUS!

Little Rosey—Roseanne Barr as a sassy 8-year-old in a blue collar household! Oh, wait…

That's exactly what it was: low budget. It's not that Hanna and Barbera were inherently hacks, look at their work on the theatrical Tom and Jerry shorts—great, fluid visual comedy. It's that when theatrical shorts started to die out and they had to migrate to TV, they were having to work with a tiny fraction of their…

For years I thought those were the real lyrics. I also thought it was the theme song to "Cat People", despite never having seen the film and only knowing it from an old copy of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" in the middle school library. Young me had some notions is what I'm saying.