I'm assuming he doesn't have a light saber.

Look, the best way to treat hypothermia is to huddle up naked in a sleeping bag with another person, so now's your chance to be the friend JJ Steven needs.

I will celebrate by stabbing a man in the dead of winter.

VIGO THE CARPATHIAN SWORN IN AS 45TH PRESIDENT OF US

Upvoted.

He's sucking cocks in heaven now. RIP.

I love it when a plan comes together!

True story: my comment was originally going to include the phrase "You have the boorish manners of a Cantabrigian!" and I'm still not sure I wasn't wrong not to go with that.

Its name is Robert Paulson!

But what if ketchup doesn't actually exist but is a collective delusion we've all tacitly agreed to buy into? What then, eh, smart guy?

He said strange, not blue.

God's got nothing to do with it.

But how was the sex, though?

You hate and want to punish yourself?

You're questioning whether adopting Canadian habits could make you a better person?

Yeah, if you've done enough drugs, otherwordly tongues of fire appearing over everybody's head doesn't phase you at all.

So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that—*burrp*—I-if… if there's a video online with someone getting decapitated, you don't click on it?

Mary Pickford kissing herself reassures me that the people of a century ago weren't so unlike we modern internet commenters after all.

Using the Oxford comma is classy, but calling attention to your usage is boorish.

You know, I knew of Chewbacca Mom, but I didn't fully know what Chewbacca Mom was all about so I finally looked up the video just now, and all I can say is I'm pleased that '16 wasn't a complete bust of a year.