Oh no! You've killed Ashton Kutcher!

And The Thunder Rolls comes to mind.

I'll stick my giant monster into…

I did hear that they were thinking about a reboot. This time, NOBODY survives.

Clearly, the backlash can be traced directly to players only loving you while they're playing.

I know, I know. "Levee" is the preferred nomenclature, I believe.

I don't know what a shag dance is, but I'm willing to learn.

Fuckin' fine. Swimming, chores, and beer. Played with my tyke a bunch.

Great answer. I was gonna cheat and say Mel Blanc.

Florida?

My toddler wore almost the same outfit this past weekend. And I dressed to match.

Creeping Property Taxes

Or the most metal of flowers.

Shouldn't this one simply be Creeds?

I think we are all in violent agreement that:
1. Tex-Mex != Mexican
2. New York "Italian" != Italian
3. New Yorkers will consistently remind you that they have the best of whatever it is we're talking about. I'm sure they are right pretty often, but it can still be irritating to hear all the time.

Even though I don't get paid to speak publicly, I do tend to have some of the same tics when I have to. It's almost as though my brain has two possible words that could fit into a certain part of the sentence, but instead of picking a path when I get there I sometimes mix the two words together. Either would have made…

Right. Kind of like the Tex-Mex I hold near and dear to my heart isn't really authentic Mexican food. But you'd agree that New Yorkers and the New York-adjacent would contend their "Italian" food is the best in the world, right?

Two of each, please!

I'm sorry for your loss.

Can't wait until an All-Star breaks his leg doing this in the offseason.