The real clincher is that she always wears an onion on her belt. Which I've been told was quite stylish at the time.

Fuck that. I'm gonna shake you up and ask again and again until I get the answer I expect. Just like when the oracle at Delphi tried to pull this shit with me.

Wait. Is this porn?

And now I'm imagining all Pokemons running around with stereotypical Jamaican accents.

I heard Dikachu injects it right into his huge, vein-y nose.

I can't even imagine it. I've got a toddler right now. If something similar ever happened to my family and a this kind of confrontational denial sprung up around it, I'm not sure I could restrain myself. I'd be very wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'd be headed to prison or suicide-by-cop. Not sure about how "successful" I…

Two minutes. By yourself. And you feel shame.

It's a pup tent. Or maybe an ultra-light backpacker.

Maybe. I had a pretty serious colloidal silver addiction a few years back. It's like $25 for a 4 oz, off the shelf. Sure, you can go through the black silver market (or Raiders, as called it), but half the time that's nothing but molten aluminum.

Starring whoever the fuck 2Chainz is.

Perhaps we just reuse his performance in hologram format, update the visual, and then replace the voice with an impressionist. Or software.

Martha Washington hip, even.

I've seen those guys live. They were the closing act at a small liberal arts college "event". They played a bunch of songs with one guys singing, then the other guy only sang Breakfast at Tiffany's.

That stuff is the best.

He does, but nobody understands that he's saying it.

We'll just have to up the intensity. We'll either break through your barrier or melt your brain trying.

Which volume of his autobiography gets into the decision to tune so low in pitch that the only qualities of the instrument are 1) generic bass sound without discernible note values and 2) clicks and pops indicating when the notes should have been heard.

Don't forget delicious beer and whiskey, respectively. And respectfully.

I've never had them that way! What are the taste benefits of silver lining your french fries? Increased conductance?

Maybe you should get out and meet more gun-toting racists.