I can see now that there can be no peace between us.

Really? No olives on pizza? Personally I prefer green olives in almost all situations, but I can't think of a thing wrong with olives on pizza.

I'll have you know I'm already ashamed of myself. Not about the pizza thing, but in general.

I thought I knew you man. Cooked is the only way I would eat a tomato. Preferably with some delicious herbs and spices added to enhance the flavor.

Sometimes there's the "we really both need to get laid, but I can't handle trying to put the kid to sleep twice tonight so you'd better bite your bottom lip (or mine if you like) while we get this done" sex.

Well, she should be made to smell the glove.

I heard he was gonna play the Grint Reaper in the Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey remake.

Oh, that's really cool. I've never seen/heard of that particular movie, but I'm not much of a movie buff. Unless you count bad 80s action and even worse 90s comedy.

I'm watching a lot of children's movies these days. There's a throwaway line in The Lion King where Simba (as a cub) is talking to Scar and says something like, "You're really weird." And then that awesome Jeremy Irons voice says "You have no idea." That tickles me every time.

I guess this will be the next corn application I try. That looks really good. I usually just cut it off the cob and fry it in butter. But I'm a simple man.

Yeah, but now you gotta come back every 10 minutes.

What's this about fingerbangin'?

At which point they would have to run away to… Belgium, let's say.

Hawt.

There's not a single reviewer who liked American Ninja? I guess no movie reviewers where adolescent boys in the 80s?

Indeed.

Since we're apparently sharing cute kid stories:
My two year old approached me yesterday with a car headrest (we had removed it), turned upside down, with pinwheels jammed into the bottom of the posts. I thought this was genius. The he told me it was a birthday cake and that I should eat it. So it may actually be…

Really depends on what's in that sandwich. I don't know if that counts as cooking.

Right-o. But I see how my sentence makes it sound like neither was there any more. Still pretty super, in my book.

Thanks. Had a feeling that wasn't completely right.