I feel like there needs to be a half-assed term paper somewhere on comparing/contrasting Flea and Sting. Both mononymous bass players that were always somewhat off-putting in movies. Obviously, Sting also sings, but Flea is almost certainly a better bassist.

Allegedly…

What? Was too busy pullin' my spud.

Things HAVE changed! I never got invited to any blowjob parties, out of control or otherwise. I never even heard of one!

Hmm. Puppets. Assholes. There's got to be a connection there.

"He's a psychopathic killer. But so what? Plenty of them around."

One-sitting too much, or cumulative too much? Two things?

Last Polka is awesome. Underground, Best Imitation Of Myself, Video. Great album.

I participated in a high school talent show at a school I didn't attend, and at which point I was 20 years old.

Ladies & Gents, there's no reason to pit these worthy foodstuffs against one-another. Can't we all just keep rotating around the table dipping tortilla chips in an unending array of delectable concoctions? As long as there's beer and no double-dipping, we can get through this together.

"Now Princess Vespa, step into my office. You really want this Transformer job, don't ya? What with my aforementioned money & power. I think I can make that happen. But the question is, what can you do for me?"

Plus, who's cooler than Steve McQueen?

I hate it when one of those automatic flushing toilets gives me splash-back on my balls. You just have to convince yourself the water that got on you was clean.

That is (pretty close to) what the Romans called it. Probably in Latin.

I really dug this guys PBS show. It was a rare cooking show with actual cooking. I've never eaten at any of his restaurants. It sounds like he's quite accomplished, though maybe he's just good on TV. Anybody have first-hand knowledge?

To be fair, I used to be cool and interesting until I decided to bring my very own over-priced, rampaging id into the world. Maybe that was the first step into my current suckiness.

Another proud day for this Texan…

If we're gonna start listing the personal limitations that kept each of us from performing as we'd hoped in various feats of strength, I'm takin' the day off.

At least you are in the correct mood for the impending activity.

Maybe "The AV Club" could use a name change.