bart the bear
Anthony Hopkins was in two films with the same bear. Not Alec. His name was Bart, and he was in The Edge and Legends of the Fall. He was also the bear in The Great Outdoors, starring Dan Aykroyd, who was in My Girl 2 with Jodie Markell, who was in Queens Logic with … that's right, Kevin Bacon.

Funny thing about Avatar. Everyone has seen it, but I have yet to meet one person who will actually go to bat for that movie. They all say: "Fuh, it was okay. Cool effects." From my father-in-law to my 18-year-old niece to the man with the oddly-shaped head who lives downstairs.

Grrr. I hate great and valuable things just to piss off the people who like them! Grrr.

"all chain pizzas are cooked in those things"

Armand's is decent, reliable DC pizza, although I suspect anyone from Chicago will say that it's a pale imitation, etc. But I dig it the most.

"As pissed as I am about this entire late night situation, it could have been avoided if all those Conan fans just watched the damn show."

Hating Vampire Weekend is so hipster. You're all nothing but white or black hipsters, or maybe Asian, overweight or underweight, loving Grizzly Bear or hating them because it's so hipster now to hate Grizzly Bear. I can see you vividly in my head, you smug, ironic fucks, drinking PBR or not, wearing skinny jeans or…

Just like The Colour and the Shape. The U makes it more ambitious.

Slim picking this year. Really, as slim as any year I can remember.

The "merchandised goodwill" scene, in this movie, is the department store Santa Claus. Everything about that scene is perfect: Ralphie's single-minded determination, his rebuffing of the Wicked Witch, his fevered realization that Santa Claus (this one at least) is a sham, the shrieks of the children and the last few…

She's just grooving with the rest of the show. Half of the sketches these days are about funny voices, ethnic or otherwise. Ha-ha! Ethnic doorbell girl! Ha-ha! A gay foreign exchange student! Ha-ha! Peurto-Rican! Ha-ha! Jersey Girl! Ha-ha! Hillbillies singing about Model Ts and beer! Yee-haw!

Ah, the Hays Code, protecting America from the horrors of drug use, tongue-kissing, miscegenation, suicide and disrespecting the flag. The MPAA is so reasonable by comparison.

I always forget, also, that Crichton gave us ER. And that he and his his wife conspired to give us Twister, which makes a lot of sense, when you compare the structure of that movie to everything else churned out by the Crichton Story-o-Matic (good scientists versus evil scientists, loads of technical exposition, a…

EotD was great. The premise isn't just terrific, it's ingenious. If he had simply tried to retell Beowulf, he probably would have failed. If he had just retold Beowulf as a story about late-period Neanderthals, he definitely would have failed. But by telling the story through the voice of ibn Fadlan, he gives us…

There are plenty of good X-Files episodes after season five. Triangle was great, as as Arcadia, etc. The hard part about watching any show go down the drain is that it never drops off instantly. You start to notice a few bad ones sneaking in, and the quality becomes inconsistent even within individual shows, until you…

Also, good teenagers, take off your clothes.

Does the voice really have to match the character's ethnicity? At no point watching Aladdin did I happen to notice that the lead character's voice was that of a Jewish-American from New York as opposed to an Arab speaking pristine English.

Wow. The Beach Boys were pretty much batshit there for a while, weren't they? I'm now dreaming of a legendary collaboration with Andre 3000, featuring songs like "Yummy White Pudding" and "Poopy-Pants Girl (Someone Made a Stinky)."

So there you go. The word hipster has officially become devoid of meaning, if it ever had any in the first place. Now it's just a lazy epithet slapped on anyone and everyone who disagrees with you and thinks that what you enjoy is middlebrow garbage. Which it might well be, hipsters be damned.

My Morning Jacket is not under any circumstances a hippie nor a jam band. I won't say they're the best band on the planet, but they're pretty fucking great, and if you don't think so, you're just plain wrong.