"This is so unfunny I'm going to write a 700-word article about it. I win."

How about that governor of South Carolina who ditched his job for a week to be with his Argentinian lover? It's got romance, intrigue, chaw spit (being South Carolina)…

I have similar insomnia, only it's about the fear that a Just Shoot Me reunion would be subpar.

Can I watch my porm on the HomePod?

Aw, c'mon.

A demoralized Vivid Video asks: How much more do you perverts need?

People actually remember that movie? Are we going to see a bunch of 20th anniversary tributes next year?

You mean Wiener wieners?

Where'd you get that Bop Gun?

Oh right. I forget because I'm a pass holder.

Why is it, with our crumbling transportation infrastructure, that the highway to the danger zone remains fully funded?

"What's wrong with them? I can see rivers just fine."

Shawshank Redemption.

Legally, is this like Title IX in high school sports, where they have to provide an alternative film screening for men? If so, how about Porky's III?

*Betsy

Don't little Asian dudes frequently challenge you for that, though?

It's not?

"Sergeant" for me (I think I was in fourth grade).

I guess this is a good time to call up any Minnesotan you know, or just some Minnesotan at random.

Coincidentally, "Shitty uncle" is my favorite genre of porm.