Not a single scat joke or gag. Sandler's really lost his fastball.

[Pours one out for T-Dawg]

weekend clickbait

"Death by snoo-snoo!"

The A.V. Club
Am I doing this right?

… but it's in neither! You drank the R-rating 15 minutes ago!

This is true. That would be the optimal outcome. But I think Goyer was speaking in relative terms. Constantine as DC has portrayed him in recent years (in DCU proper — outside Vertigo) is more of a PG-13 version of the R rated Hellblazer. So PG-13 Constantine on basic cable would be better than PG Constantine on…

As crazy as it might sound, I'll second that. I give them credit for finding a niche. It's better than NBC has managed in recent years with their programming. Sadly, I knew the moment I watched the pilot episode that Constantine on NBC was doomed. It was a show that was imperfect at the start, but had promise. It did…

Oh, yes. Yes it is. Terrified me as a child.

…
The A.V. Club

For the record, I misread that as "bowl-rattling shits" because that also makes sense in context.

"…. and remember to use plenty of lube!"
At least that's the advice I've always gotten where any sex toy purchase is concerned. And you know what? Never bad advice!

… and somehow Andrew Lincoln's accent will be just as terrible dubbed in Spanish.

"I suggest you do what your father did: learn to use the force, sir!"

When the flood of nerd tears of joy mix with the torrent of MRA boycotters' tears of derp, it will be a flood of biblical proportions. Someone sound the tsunami horns.

Intergalactic diplomacy and trade negotiations or GTFO.

… or maybe he's really just a misogynist with the sophistication and sensibilities of an adolescent male. Could be simple as that.

… and a drug day (ALLEGEDLY).

Chew-BACA, not Chew-BOXA!

*faints from exhaustion*